The Mobile Novel

Episode 257

2010-05-19T13:49:00.001-07:00

One week and he was completely packed. He had moved all of his files to storage and he sent an inventory list to the head of files -- who was staying on -- and to Jadert's assistant. He had arranged with the computer people to have his directories archived and burned onto several CD, one of which he kept himself, the others he distributed, again to Jadert's assistant, to files and to another employee who told him she was being kept on.

He worried that everything he knew and everything he had done was going to be lost and the company would be poorer for it. Why did he care? What difference would it make? Words on paper about things that had already happened over which whatever limited control he might have had was soon to be gone.

He brought a book in with. He sat in his office and read. All was left was waiting.

Episode 256

2009-04-28T13:00:00.000-07:00

Apparently not everyone was taking the layoffs well though the terms had been spelled out months in advance and were generous, very generous especially compared to what some of the record companies were doing to their people.

Art got an email that said the bosses were stupid and insensitive, had terrible judgment and poor management skills. Why else would a venerable movie company such as this one be shedding so many talented people. So the owner could make more billions? The guy was over 90 and had more money than Croesus, how much more did he need?

Another one was furious that the writer was being cut short of his third year which limited the amount of severance. There were a whole series of responses to the last one, people "people replying" all, so many in fact that it slowed the system and then finally crashed it.

Episode 255

2009-04-27T12:59:00.000-07:00

Another group left and just before they departed the building a shower of emails, everyone sayong good bye, proferring contact information on one another. Art deleted all these unread. The subject line made it easy. He didn't read them because in awhile he'd be the one sending them out.

Was it necessary? An important way to network.

Two weeks to go and he was counting the days. The panic attacks in the car had lessened a bit. He was accepting what was coming.

A few days went by and no word from Shelley.

Art found that he liked the silence.

Episode 254

2009-04-24T12:58:00.000-07:00

As soon as he closed his eyes. As soon as he took one unencumbered breath safe from wanted criminal taxi drivers and overzealous private security guards who believed that anyone out of place was a terrorist threat. He gave and he slept but if he hoped it would be all day and all night he was mistaken. The alarms failed because the power went out, so he came to realize later. It was his bladder that woke him, that insistent pressure which built up whether or not he had anything to drink. And he had drunk maybe close to a quart of water when he first got in. He was so thirsty. A desert in his throat, a patch of baked ground for a tongue. His bladder woke him after only twenty minutes. He lumbered up, his eyes and head heavy to find none of the lights working.

He got in the shower and when he came out the power turned on suddenly tripping both the alarms he had set, their klaxon call loud in the space.

Episode 253

2009-04-23T12:57:00.000-07:00

He should just call in sick or not show? Who was going to know? Who was going to say anything? He hadn't seen or talked to Jadert in several weeks. Art had gone up to try to catch a few minutes with him but the door was closed and the assistant only shook his head. No more information was forthcoming.

"I'll put you on the list but I wouldn't hold my breath. Just being straight with you."

Art got home and lay down for ten minutes. He set two alarms before he did, one of which was across the room.

Later, he believed he fell asleep as soon as his head touched the pillow.

Episode 252

2009-04-22T12:56:00.000-07:00

He got a couple of blocks away and went into an alley. He loitered around a dumpster. He disturbed a cat which went off with a screech. The top of the dumpster banged open and a homeless man who had been sleeping inside demanded to know what was going on.
That surprise sent Art off, back in the direction of the garage. Now he was hiding in alleys. The whole thing was ridiculous.

He vowed to never again do a good deed. What sense in it? Shelley could get home on her own. What did he care if she was angry? In another couple of weeks they'd be gone, permanently separated from the company -- and each other he believed.

It was getting lighter. The garage was open. The private security car nowhere to be seen.

Art went inside.

Episode 251

2009-04-21T12:55:00.000-07:00

Police or someone coming to rob him, he didn't care at this point. If the garage opened at six as it said, he'd be home just before seven. Not enough time for any sleep before work.

It was a private security guard who pulled up and kept the light in his eyes.

Art stood up rapidly to get the glare off of him. He brushed the back of his pants. He took a look around to see if anything was handy on the ground. A rock. Something. Nothing.

He just walked off.

The guard got out of his car. "Come back here."

Art never stopped and didn't turn around.

Episode 250

2009-02-03T14:20:00.000-08:00

Something was really bothering his foot now. He stopped and sat on a bus bench. His trousers snagged a splinter causing him to pull back in pain. He was able to get the splinter out but put a small hole in his pants. Something else to get fixed.

He took off is right shoe and upended it. A pebble came out. He took his sock off and tried to examine his foot in the weak light of a street light. Something was going on and didn't look good.

He put the sock and shoe back on, stretched his legs. The totally wrong shoes for walking distance.

He went on through a shopping district. Shoe stores and clothing and jewelry and a fast food chicken place all closed now and dark. But even at night he still had a shadow.

He back to the restaurant and found the parking garage closed and locked until 6 AM. Only an hour to wait.

He sat down on a curb. From down the block a car shown a searchlight on him.

Episode 249

2009-02-01T14:20:00.000-08:00

Walking on a damp dark night still hours from dawn with a chill in the air he wasn't dressed for. He cursed the police for leaving him out here. He cursed the cab company for hiring criminals with outstanding warrants. He cursed himself for leaving his cell phone in his car, the car that was now maybe three miles away after all his walking. He cursed Shelley for getting drunk. He went back to cursing himself for being a good guy and getting her home. He could have just driven the two of them in his car. But then in the morning she would asked for help in her hung-over suffering way. Or if he got her home and left her, well what kind of a prick was he then?

Two miles. Many bottles of beer on the wall. Strange the songs that once in your head refused to leave.

He legs were sore. He wasn't wearing the right shoes for this long a walk. He was going to be blistered.

A mile. He was almost there.

Episode 248

2009-01-28T14:19:00.000-08:00

If they had called a cab, no cab was coming. Not after ten minutes. Not after fifteen or twenty. An entire half hour passed with Art by the curb, waiting.

At last he decided no cab was on the way and started walking.

Episode 247

2009-01-26T14:19:00.001-08:00

Art got his money and his receipt from the machine and turned around to see the cab driver in handcuffs being put in the police car.

As Art walked up one of the officers swung is flashlight up momentarily blinding Art.

"Is that necessary, officer?" Art said.

"Step back, please."

"I'm just trying to get back my car. I haven't paid for cab ride yet and I still need a ride."

A few cars drove by, slowing down, as people always seem to do, to observe the stop. What was so fascinating in another person's misfortune? The certainty that it wasn't you this time, pulled over, life interrupted, diverted in a way that nothing good could come from.

"We'll call you another cab."

They drove off leaving Art in a not too familiar neighborhood with at least four miles between him and the location of his car.

Episode 246

2008-12-06T08:51:00.000-08:00

Art pulled the locked door closed behind him and stepped outside. The whir of tire noise came from a main road a block away but it was thin and punctuated by the changing stop lights.

A cab waited by the curb. Art got in and directed the driver to take him back to the restaurant where his own car waited. He couldn't stop watching the meter because he was a man who never carried a lot of cash around with him. He wasn't going to make it on what he had.

When they got off the freeway, he had the driver pull over to an ATM and wait with the meter going.

The area was well lit and fronted a road with a good degree of traffic, even though it was late. Art didn't like it though. It was a moment of vulnerability. You couldn't concentrate on what was around you at the same time you focused on the transaction.

A loud squawking sound made him jump. A police car pulled up behind the cab.

Episode 245

2008-12-03T13:06:00.000-08:00

The rest of the evening was logistics: Art found her keys and drove her home in her car. The seat was stuck and although Shelley was tall, she was not as tall as Art. He was right up on the wheel, cramped, his leg aching by the time he got her back.

She was still very drunk when they go to her place. Art had to nearly carry her inside. She was talking a little, something about how he should love her, why didn't he love her?

In her apartment, Art got her clothes off. They had vomit on them. He threw them in a hamper in her closet. He dragged her to the shower and washed her off. After he toweled her down, he managed to put a pair of underwear on her and a T-shirt. She didn't make it easy. She moved around, tried to get him to touch her as he put clothing on her.

She was naked in front of him and he saw her as a series of tasks to finish.

At last he got her on the bed and under covers where she slept.

Episode 244

2008-12-01T13:05:00.000-08:00

The manager led Art to the ladies room and told him she was inside. Art started to open the door and the manager grew agitated.

"What is the problem?" Art said, "Do you want this handled or not?"

Without waiting for an answer Art went inside.

He had been in few ladies rooms and while it was better decorated than the mens it didn't seem any cleaner. We were all animals at heart.

Art surprised two women at the sink. They turned around and started to protest.

Shelley was on the floor her back against a wall, moaning a little.

Art pointed to Shelley. "Don't let someone in trouble interrupt your makeup, girls. Jesus you bitches."

Art went to Shelley's side while the women huffed out. The manager stuck his head in but a look from Art kept him quiet and he withdrew.

"Oh, Shelley, what have you done to yourself?"

Episode 243

2008-11-29T13:04:00.000-08:00

Shelley was gone a long time, so long that Art had her food boxed for take home and he paid the bill. Still she didn't come back and he was thinking of going to look for her when a man who identified himself as the manager came to his table.

Shelley was in the ladies room quite ill. It was almost funny, sex, averted. The choice had been taken away from but strangely he didn't care. Now he was left with the cleanup because he couldn't just leave her there, could he?

He followed the manager back. The manager was agitated as if it was Art's fault this was happening, as if Art were personally responsible.

Art put his on the manager's arm, stopping them.

"I don't need the attitude," Art said.

He cut off any protest. "Yes, she's a friend. We work together. I didn't give her the wine and maybe, just maybe it's your food that's the problem. Yes, that what I think it is. The food."

That shut him up.

Episode 242

2008-11-27T13:04:00.000-08:00

Art, so far in life had never had a longterm girlfriend. Dated many but only for awhile. A few months and then on to someone new.

Art didn't know if this was some personal deficiency because he was finally a bore or if the fault resided on the other side. A couple of times he had been dumped over money; he didn't make enough to satisfy the acquisitive drives. He could excuse that failing. The rest were mostly drift. They didn't so much as break up as cast off from one another. Always friendly. No one ever left mad or vengeful. Which, again made Art wonder who might be lacking in passion.

Shelley turned aside seemed to want him more and more. Or at least the wine made her want him.

What were they going to do with one of the cars? He couldn't let her drive home. He'd driver her car and cab back and go home himself.

Great plan, abetted by a sudden change in Shelley's face. She rushed from the table.

Episode 241

2008-11-25T13:03:00.001-08:00

It was way too early to claim he had to get home because of something he had to do in the morning. The waitress brought Shelley another glass of wine, the stemware filled a deep purple that captured the light. As if the manager had sensed that thought the lights turned down.

Atmosphere. Of an unwelcome sort. Art wanted to be in a large well lit room without people or noise, antiseptic smells. The kind that never really covered over what was underneath.

It was loud in the restaurant, Shelley leaned in to listen and talk. She would have leaned in anyway. Now she was close enough that her chest brushed his arm. Brushed and brushed again as if sweeping then all at once, pressing into him.

"Tell me," she said, "don't keep me out."

She backed away and drank from her wineglass, most of what had just been brought. Then she flung herself back at him again.

"Tell me," she said, "I'm here."

If only he weren't.

Episode 240

2008-11-24T13:31:00.000-08:00

But it didn't. If anything it made Art more attractive in the moment to Shelley. Her touch on his hand did not lessen. She leaned into him.

"Tell me," she said, "tell me what's wrong."

Her tone made Art wish he had kept the conversation focused on her job search, her life, her latest problems in all their triviality.

"I think I'm nervous about the layoff, even with all they're doing for us, and I keep getting tense. In the car, that's when it happens mostly."

Shelley was nodding with him, openly stroking his hand.

Art said, "I'm sure it'll go away as soon as everything is done. The waiting is hard. But tell me about "

"We're talking about you. I want to help you."

Great.

Episode 239

2008-11-23T13:30:00.000-08:00

Shelley didn't bring up the question about why he'd been standing by his car and Art didn't feel any need to explain. They ate and Shelley had wine, a couple of glasses. It brought a glow to her cheeks.

Sometimes Art missed the drinking. His guard was always up and the drinking had been a way to lower it, to stop thinking so much and do.

He'd studied enough Eastern philosophy to know that it was better to be without external stimulation, to live in the world now, whatever his condition.

Shelley was edging closer to him. She freely put her hand on his hand and let it linger. Art was mindful enough to read the signs. Her hand was warm. All of her, no doubt.

During a pause while she was drinking, he said to her, "I've been having panic attacks. I suppose I know why."

That would kill a mood.

Episode 238

2008-11-21T13:28:00.001-08:00

He drove two blocks and the panic was on him again. While he was standing there Shelley drove by, turned around and came past again and stopped. Rolled down her window.

"What are you doing?" she said.

What was she doing? Of all the streets in all the cities... He had completely lost a sense of humor.

His breath was returning.

"You don't live here," she said.

"No," Art said, "I don't."

"I don't understand. Are you in trouble? Something wrong with the car? You don't look so good."

Art straightened up fully. This last attack hadn't lasted as long.

"How about dinner?" Art said, and Shelley agreed.

Art managed to drive to the restaurant without a problem.

Episode 237

2008-11-19T10:11:00.000-08:00

The pain subsided and he became calm, the world back into focus.

He got into the car but did not start up. He'd wait for awhile, for the right time.

Episode 236

2008-11-17T10:11:00.001-08:00

He was sure he was having a heart attack, the pressure on his chest. That the pain was local and did not radiate didn't mean it wasn't the real thing. He was sure.

Episode 235

2008-11-14T09:05:00.000-08:00

It helped for a minute and then it didn't. He had to get out. He had to get out. Heart on fire, chest about to explode. Again he managed to get to a side street amd calm down.

At this rate it was going to take a long time to get anywhere. He was going to have to drive at off times with light traffic.

Episode 234

2008-11-13T09:04:00.000-08:00

He got back onto a main street and the traffic backed up again. He opened all the windows, the sun roof, turned on the air conditiionong but not too hard. Sometimes a rushing fan brought the panic on. He tuned the stereo to some soft jazz. He focused on the breath. Long and slow on each exhale.

Episode 233

2008-11-12T09:03:00.000-08:00

Anyone watching would have thought he was a little off, a large man gasping for air, seeming to will himself to breathe, slowly, deeply. Focus on the breath. The pressure let off and he felt better.

He got back in his car and it was just a car, not a box he couldn't escape.

He put the car in drive.

Episode 232

2008-11-05T09:00:00.000-08:00

Art looked through the Trade papers every morning, responding to anything that looked remotely similar to his job. When a new distribution venture was announced, Art sent a resume.

No one seemed interested. No one responded.

He spoke to some he knew slightly about an opening in her department but it meant a demotion in title and about half the salary.

"Are you sure you want that? You'd be working for me," she said, "and you have more experience than I do."

"That might be a problem."

"I'd say."

He felt a kind of desperation that he knew wasn't rational. He had trouble sleeping. If he was stopped in heavy traffic for more than a few seconds he felt panic rise, a lack of air, the interior of the car pressing on him. Several times he had made crazy moves in the car just to get away. He parked on a side street and jumped out, waiting for his heavy breathing to subside.

Episode 231

2008-11-03T13:18:00.000-08:00

The separation date was coming closer and Art had no idea what he was going to do. He'd be able to manage pretty well for a few months on the severance maybe even a year.

He was coming to his office late and leaving early.

He saw Jadert once in the elevator who said: "I thought, well I don't know if there's any sense telling you. I'll tell you. I thought I could keep a few of us on. The people with institutional memory. Like you. You, in particular. But it's not going to work out. Skeleton crew just to keep the lights on."

Art held out his hand and they shook.

"I know you did what you could and I appreciate it. I've always appreciated your efforts for me. I got to the VP and that's something."

"Isn't it. You'll be okay," Jadert said, "you'll get picked up. Of that I have no doubt."

Jadert was so sure. Then why couldn't Art believe it himself?

Episode 230

2008-10-29T09:52:00.001-07:00

And with that, the memorial was concluded. Some made plans to go to a restaurant not far away. Paul Ryder, brother of the deceased publisher asked a few people to come and help go through papers.

People filed outside into the bright afternoon. Art walked slowly to his car. He had met everyone, in a way, and no one. He had not the chance to tell any of them of his book design.

Was it terrible of him to have come to find more work? Didn't matter, really because nothing happened.

He saw the older woman drive by him, both hands on the wheel, staring straight ahead in full concentration. Paul Ryder came past followed by a line of cars driven by people who had been at the memorial.

Art started up. There was a lot of traffic on the freeway and it took a couple of hours to get home.

Episode 229

2008-10-27T14:21:00.001-07:00

Art thought she might let it go as a parade of speakers came to the stage and spoke. This time they followed the advice of the departed's brother and kept their remarks short.

It was hard to tell what kind of man the publisher had been. Tight with a dollar yet ready to help out a writer who had fallen on hard times by opening his house as a place to stay. A womanizer who tried much harder than he succeeded. A supporter of the arts if one gave "art" the broadest definition. A great father. A distant father. An important man. The most minor of figures on the literary landscape who had already disappeared even before his memorial had concluded. Beloved. Bewildered. Bothered. But neither bewitched nor bewitching.

This last observation was from Art's savior, the older woman, who still had not given her name. Almost none of the speakers identified themselves. But it was clear they knew each other.

Episode 228

2008-10-22T09:25:00.001-07:00

Immediately after the police left the older woman turned to Art.

"Well," she said, "that was exhilarating. But you, young man, you're not entirely blameless in this affair."

Art looked down.

"I suspect you had some reaction to our Naida. She has that effect. You wouldn't be the first to be taken in by her charms. That's what happened to the fellow headed to the hospital. Terrible poet. Always writing about her vagina as if she's the only one who has one."

Around them people were sitting down again. Paul Ryder returned to the lectern.

"I know most everyone here but not you," the older woman said. "What is your connection?"

Art's answer was interrupted as Paul Ryder said: "We still have time for a few more brief, brief I say, brief testimonials for our departed. The microphone is open."

Episode 227

2008-10-21T09:49:00.001-07:00

Naida started shouting, "He tried to kill us. I was right there. I was right there. You have to do something."

The woman spread her hands as if to say, See what you're dealing with?

"More than 50 witnesses, officer. We saw the young man enter in a very agitated state, and then he tripped. I might suggest that a hospital visit is in order. His cut looks bad, don't you think."

The officer looked at Art. "Is that what happened?"

"Exactly," said Art.

"He's lying," shouted Naida.

"Did anyone see it differently?" Said the officer.

There was a murmur of no's.

"They're all lying," Naida shouted again. "It's a conspiracy."

"Dearie," said the old woman, "you don't know the first thing about conspiracy. Now if you're really concerned for that boyfriend of yours--"

"He's not my boyfriend."

"That's how it looks to us. Get him to emergency. Officer, could you assist them?"

He nodded and they left to applause.

Episode 226

2008-10-20T09:42:00.000-07:00

Hadn't he come here to find more work designing covers? Now he was going to be arrested with really no one to call for bail. His brother? Never had the cash for this sort of thing. There might still be time to run out while the old woman held off the officer.

More people in the room realized what was happening.

"You have procedures, officer, and it doesn't appear that you've followed them," the old woman was saying.

Art was fascinated by her, the fearlessness.

Attention was no longer on the stage but now in the confrontation on the floor of the hall. People started to move towards it. Art could feel a kind of shift in the mood and energy.

"Officer, the young man was angry about what we don't know but love was apparently involved." She fluttered her hand in the general direction of the sky. "The young man tripped on a chair leg and fell. It's unfortunate he hurt himself but those are the facts."

Episode 225

2008-10-19T09:41:00.000-07:00

An older woman planted herself between Art and the policeman who was moving toward them.

"Do you have an arrest warrant?"

"There's been a complaint," the officer said.

"Which you've decided to investigate. What's the complaint number?"

"There--"

"I'd like to see a copy of the preliminary paperwork you surely have written up."

"I--"

"Surely you've gotten the appropriate authorization from your watch commander."

His face said otherwise.

Art hadn't moved. He was watching this latest drama play out. He'd never been to so lively a memorial.

He turned to someone next to him. "Are they always like this?"

"I was going to ask you."

"Oh, officer, I'm so very sorry for you. I'm sure you thought this was going to be an easy one. Except you've got a room full of lawyers and community and labor organizers and anti-war folk. I, myself, marched in Selma."

"Yes, Ma'am, I'm sure you did. Now about the complaint."

Episode 224

2008-10-18T09:40:00.000-07:00

At 25 minutes the speaker seemed to lose his place. His pages out of order. A sappy story about a little boy who died of hunger interrupted. He turned over page after page, looking for his missing text.

Paul Ryder came to the podium. "Thank you," he said.

"I wasn't done," the speaker said.

"If you'd like to say something about Myron, please come forward. But might I suggest we keep our remarks brief to allow everyone the opportunity to speak before we have to leave the hall." Ryder looked at his watch, "in another hour or so."

"I found it," the speaker said, "here it is."

"Perhaps you should put it on your blog," Ryder said, "in Myron's honor."

"But--"

"Here's our next speaker."

Someone else was coming up. Before they had a chance to start a uniformed policeman entered the room led by Naida and her wounded bloodied boyfriend.

"There he is, officer, arrest him," Naida shouted.

Episode 223

2008-10-17T09:39:00.000-07:00

Paul Ryder was at the podium. The late publisher's brother. He invited members of the audience to come up and say something in remembrance, anyone who wanted to.

The first person to do so must have thought he was at an open reading and not a memorial service. He walked up with a big overstuffed notebook full of loose dog-eared papers.

"These are new," the speaker said. He launched into the reading of a rambling, not very interesting disquisition on the gap between the rich and poor.

No one seemed alarmed by this. Paul Ryder had a smile on his face, as if to suggest that this was just the kind of messed-up memorial his brother would get or deserved.

At the 15 minute mark Art understood that it was going to be a long, long afternoon.

Someone next to Art elbowed him and said, "Isn't it great?"

Episode 222

2008-10-16T09:38:00.000-07:00

"We're ready to get started," he said, "unless someone else wants to cause a scene."

That provoked a wave of laughter from the room.

"My brother always said the poets were fiery," the speaker said, "I had no idea what he meant until just now,"

More laughter.

"And I can see that our bouncer," and here he pointed to Art, "will take of things. If necessary."

It wasn't really funny but they laughed again.

"Myron Ryder was a man who cared deeply about poetry and literature. Those of you here know this because he published most of you. Although Myron's misfortune was always believing in his writers while not understanding how to market them. Yes, I'm one of the Philistines in sales and advertising. Myron never listened to me. The boxes and boxes of unsold books in his apartment, well we're going to have figure out what to do with those. The important thing is that he cared. And I admired him for that."

Episode 221

2008-10-15T13:28:00.000-07:00

The man pulled himself from the floor. His anger was gone. Blood was all over his chin and the front of his shirt.

"Better get that looked at," Art said.

The man nodded.

Naida came past. "Harry," she said, oh, no, you're hurt. Oh, Harry, Harry, why? Why do you do this? I told you not to come."

"I had to come."

"And you," she said to Art, "I asked you to help me not kill anyone. How dare you."

Just for a second Art had entertained the idea that he would stop the attack and Naida would be so grateful that she had to express that gratitude in the only way she knew how. A night of passionate sex to follow. Just for a second he entertained that fantasy.

"We should sue you," Naida said. "C'mon, Harry, let me help you clean up."

A night of passion, yes, but for Harry not Art -- if that chin didn't hurt too bad. It looked like it needed stitches.

At the podium, a man came to the mike and tapped it.

Episode 220

2008-10-14T09:47:00.000-07:00

At first no one stopped their conversation and only the closest looked up. But the man was shouting, "Naida, Naida, Naida. You bitch. You bitch whore monster."

It was too much to ignore.

Was he angry? Was this some kind of twisted greeting among close friends?

Near the start of the row someone got in his way and he shoved his way through.

Angry. Definitely angry.

Naida was looking around frantically. The row was filled to her right with a woman in a wheelchair at the end. No real escape.

"Help me," she said to Art.

"Bitch," the man shouted, getting closer.

"Please," she said to Art.

Why him?

Always him.

Art stood up fast. There were still a couple of empty seats next him. He kicked at one of the chairs and it jammed the aisle just as the man got to it. He tripped and went down carried by his momentum. He cut his chin on one of the metal chair legs. There was a lot of blood.

Episode 219

2008-10-13T08:49:00.000-07:00

Her hand was warm and dry and soft and smooth except for some odd callousing in the pads just beneath her middle and ring fingers. Art released his grip and made to pull back but she didn't quite let go, holding on for an extra beat. In other settings he might have found it sexy, a kind of invitation on her part. Here he just found it strange, as out of order as the men in socks and sandals, the women with their long gray unkempt hair.

He was now supposed to talk to her but he didn't, facing forward, looking at the heads in front of him. He did not want another Shelley or someone odd in her own way.

"How did you know him?" Naida was asking.

"Who?"

That made her laugh. "You wouldn't be here unless you knew him," she said "not in this crowd." She waved her hand at the people in the room.

Just then a man came barreling down the row shouting, "Naida, you bitch."

Episode 218

2008-10-12T08:49:00.000-07:00

Probably the best cover they'd seen him use. The last book had come out so well. No one really knew what would happen to it now or all of the books the late publisher had in print. His daughter wasn't interested. The publishing had always taken time away from her.

They talked about his late wife, a saint. He hadn't been the same since she died.

The poet who Art had done the cover for walked in. Art recognized him from his author photo. People welcomed the poet with compliments about the book.

A woman perhaps in her early 30s sat down next Art. She was of a different sort in tight jeans and a blouse. Art glanced at her and looked away.

The room was filling up. People came down his row forcing Art to stand to let them through. He brushed the woman's shoulder when he sat down.

"Sorry," Art said.

She told her name was Naida, and held out her hand.

Episode 217

2008-10-11T08:48:00.000-07:00

The thing about poetry events in Los Angeles, even this one, a memorial, was that they attracted the granola eaters: long grey-haired women in flowing skirts of some kind of light colored khaki pants, and ancient men in sandals. They were not a pretty group, not like crowds that went to the half-dozen movie premieres Art had been invited to over the years.

Everyone seemed to know everyone as if they had just seen each other at another reading over the weekend. It turned out that many of them had just seen each other the night before.

Art hung back. He sat in one of the thinly padded chairs near the entrance.

People milled around forming and reforming groups. They hugged. They nodded their heads. They commiserated. The death of the publisher was a great loss for poetry. Granted he wasn't good about paying what he owed the poets and he was cranky but it was a loss. And his latest book? Great cover.

Episode 216

2008-10-10T08:48:00.000-07:00

Art was able to find out when the memorial service was happening for the publisher and he went. It meant leaving work early on a Monday and hitting traffic on a freeway going south.

Unsure of how long it would take, Art had left way in advance. As it was he spent two and a half hours in the car. The traffic in the opposite direction raced by but Art was caught in five lanes of stop and go. His leg ached from holding the brake, moving for a few acceleration then back on the brake.

He had plenty of time to look at the side of road and its strange collections of discarded cups, clothing and scraps of tire. Signs said this stretch of road was kept tidy by Lew's Muffler. Lew's wasn't doing a very good job.

Eventually he got there, parked and cinched up his tie. Then he locked his car and walked into the hall.

Episode 215

2008-10-09T08:47:00.000-07:00

Not ten days later an item on one of the literary blogs he read on occasion: a terrible fire had swept through the house of a well-known small press publisher destroying everything, and killing the publisher and his family. Only the dog got out.

Art looked at the picture of the late publisher. It was his publisher, the one for whom he had just done the cover.

Art went to his sofa and took along one of his copies of the book. He rubbed the cover with his thumb.

The cover was really good.

Episode 214

2008-10-08T08:46:00.000-07:00

He sent the files of the cover electronically and waited. He was, generally a negative person. Yes, Art knew this about himself, not that he expected failure but he anticipated disappointment in all outcomes. Because he was generally a negative person either he would not hear from the publisher again or they wouldn't like it or some calamity would befall them forcing the cancellation of the project. The last was most likely because he knew the design was more than acceptable. The last outcome was a repetition of his history, not failure for he had done an excellent job, but disappointment as the uninteneded consequence of the universe in motion thrust unbreachable walls before his path to stop him.

It was with no small measure of good feeling that opened a package a few weeks later to find 6 finished copies of the book just arrived from the publisher along with an effusive thank you and a promise of more assignments to come.

Episode 213

2008-10-07T09:19:00.000-07:00

The amazing thing about working on the cover was how time seemed to vanish. He started when he got to his desk in the morning and then it was lunch. He experimented with different pictures he found on a low-cost stock photo site. He mixed backgrounds and typefaces. The cover had to look good in black and white, too, in case it was repreinted in a newspaper. So there had to be contrast among the shapes and the text against it background.

Sometimes Shelley came down and sometimes Dave. But everyone was just pretending to work now, marking days until their separation.

Such a curious way of describing the end. Lay-off. That meant the possibility of coming back but the way the bosses were talking there was no possibility. Termination. Well it was an end. Firing. That seemed so violent and the process had been civilized and considerate all along.

They were waiting. What else to do?

Episode 212

2008-10-06T08:00:00.000-07:00

The next wave of 200 were let go and the garage was more empty than ever. There were few if any delays getting in or out of the building. With his promotion, Art had an assigned space. But he could see there was no more problem parking even he hadn't had one.

His group was still together but he got dozens of good bye messages.

A few people sent invitations for going away drinks. Art avoided these. He didn't drink and he was not one to socialize much ouside of work.

Shelley went to them. She went to them all. She said they started out happy but since most people handnt found another job by the time they were a few drinks in the conversation turned bitter. The parties never went late or lasted long.

His separation date grew steadily closer. He spent his time at the office working on the cover of the poetry book.

It was coming along.

Episode 211

2008-10-05T13:02:00.000-07:00

He got nothing. Exactly what he expected. He had collected a half dozen cards. Not as if he hadn't tried. He emailed every one of them. No response. He called. Messages were taken. Calls were not returned.

Art was not angry about this, nor was he depressed. He knew from the first few minutes of the event that it was a waste of his time, a waste of most everyone's time. The Caompany was doing these things for the sake of appearances. We take care of our own, they said, when the reality was everyone had to take care of themselves.

A few people made out. The job faire had gone well for Shelley. She came down from the upper floors the next day and told him she had set up 3 interviews. Already her new austere wardrobe was slipping back. She had on a dress with a plunging neckline.

She was so unaware or maybe it was he who was unaware and she understood completely what she was doing. Whatever. The effect was lost on him. He could admire those breasts at a distance, as art, but nothing more.

Episode 210

2008-10-04T13:02:00.000-07:00

Their HR person was headed back in their direction. Art tapped Dave and inclined his head. Dave turned and looked.

"Right," he said.

They walked off in the other direction. For the next half hour they spent their time avoiding their HR person. Every time she moved toward them they moved away. They joined lines they'd already been in and waited for her to come past. When the lines began to break up they kept moving because she was always coming toward them as if she had singled them out for her attention.

Shelley was already gone. Art looked all around the room and couldn't see her. Some of the presenters were packing up, gathering papers and putting them into boxes that were under their tables.

"I've had enough of this," Art said, and Dave agreed.

They both walked to the exit where their HR person caught up with them one last time.

"We hope this was good for you," she said, "and you got something from it."

"Oh, didn't we," said Art.

Episode 209

2008-10-03T13:01:00.000-07:00

They always put it on you.

Shelley was off talking to you another group of young women about music.

You were responsible for everything turned out as if the individual really had the exercise of free will and wasn't trapped by the system. How very modern. How western.

They were laughing about something, Shelley and her new group of friends. Didn't it help to be young and beautiful.

That way, when you failed, and the statistics ran against you, it wasn't the company's fault, it wasn't the outplacement professional's thought with all their ridiculous aphorisms -- it was yours.

Shelley threw her back exposing her thoat for a moment. She was laughing after her new acquaintances had already stopped. Maybe it didn't help, what you looked like, how old you were. You were nervous and fearful and they could smell it.

Dave said, "Are you sure you never got any of that."

"Believe me, Dave, I'd know."

Episode 208

2008-10-02T08:00:00.000-07:00

This was how the doubt crept in, confidence undermined, belief dissolving. He saw what was and wasn't. Clearly. He thought. Maybe it wasn't as clear. Maybe the HR woman was right. Maybe he hadn't tried hard enough. Maybe his future was at the next table if he just went to one more table, if he spent a little more time charming the representatives, if he were more outgoing, if he wanted a different job.

If he were in a different place.

If only he were a different person.

Episode 207

2008-10-01T13:00:00.001-07:00

The woman from HR was back.

"Shelley I see you're getting around. God for you. You know Art, you could take a lesson from your friend here about getting the fullest value of this experience. Networking matters. When it comes to finding a job, we've all got to be our own CEO."

Dave had come up and nodded as he listened.

"See?" he said, "I told you."

"No one's going to do it for you," the HR person said.

The room was overly hot -- to Art at least. No, not just Art. Shelley's makeup needed freshening. It showed at her temples and the places where her face was lined, at the eyes and by the nose.

Art got another expensive bottle of water.

He had gone to all the other studios. None of them was looking for what he did. He'd already called his counterparts there in the last week or so. He'd asked to let him know if they heard of anything.

The game companies were a bust. The post house not interested.

Had he done enough?

Episode 206

2008-09-30T08:34:00.000-07:00

A photographer took a picture of Art and Shelley. He was fast and his flash came as a surprise. Art saw red spots in front of his eyes where Shelley ought to be.

"They seem interested in me."

"Great," Art said.

"Don't you want to know who?"

From her tone, it seemed she was annoyed. People always had to be handled. Constant management, you couldn't just be.

"I didn't want to pry," Art said.

Shelley giggled. "Sometimes you say things. They're perfect lines. Didn't want to pry. It's a little late for that. Well it's not another studio but they use a lot of music and they've had nothing but trouble. Could be a big job with really good money. Enough to get me out that stupid place I'm living in. I hate that place. Don't you hate that place? It's a terrible place."

Art nodded.

"That's it?"

"I hope you get it. What else do you want me to say? You know I want the best for you. You know I think you deserve it."

"Do you? Do you really."

Another picture. More red stars.

Episode 205

2008-09-29T08:33:00.000-07:00

Of course there wasn't. Art didn't know why he thought this would be easy, that he'd come to this thing and an offer would fall from the sky.

He'd never gotten a job that way. All his earlier hires had been through friends. Someone told someone told someone told him. His work at the studio had been an accident. After he stopped drinking and everything else he took a temp job as a secretary. He'd always typed well. Eventually his current job, in a different incarnation, had opened up.

The woman who had it previously died and they hired Art full time. He always said he had an alibi for the night of her death. Everyone laughed when he told the story of How Art Got Hired, though it took them a few seconds to process the joke.

Art was at the bar getting a bottled water when Shelley came up to him.

"There you are," she said.

"Here."

"I think I might get something from this."

Art smiled.

Episode 204

2008-09-28T09:33:00.000-07:00

One of the women in Human Resources from Art's studio came over. Art had known her for years. He thought she was well-intentioned but forced to do unpleasant things in her job. She had delivered the news of many firings in the past. Apparently senior management thought a woman of her small stature was more gentle with the bad news.

She chided Art and Dave for standing apart.

"I've met with them," Art said, "I've passed around my name."

"All of them?" she said.

Art was suddenly a child being scolded by his mother. Of course not all. All was a waste of time. That was so immediately obvious.

"Okay. I'll try a few more," Art said. "Won't we, Dave?"

Dave nodded and managed to slink off.

Art introduced himself to a gaming company. He told them what he did. The young female representative pulled out sheets of paper.

"We have a list here," she said, "of everything currently available. Programmer. Game tester. Market analyst. What did you say you did?"

Art told her again.

"I don't think there anything like that on there."

There wasn't.

Episode 203

2008-09-27T08:32:00.000-07:00

This was how it slipped away. He was in the movie business and then he wouldn't be. For all his complaints it was better than working in insurance. He got to see the studio's movies in a private theatre during the day. He had met several stars and many well-known directors. Because the Writers Guild had a requirement that writers get to see their films before they're finished, Art had sat with writers through screenings and taken down their comments. He understood how painful it could be to see their vision realized on screen and destroyed in the process.

This was how it slipped away in a room with hundreds desperate for a job. Across the city other companies cut back or went under.

This was how it slipped away. Already he was too old to write -- for movies. To disconnected to produce. Over 50 and about to be let go. How do you start again?

This was how it slipped away.

Episode 202

2008-09-26T08:31:00.000-07:00

"Yes," said Art, "a really great time."

The lines at each of the tables were moving slowly. People finished their "interview" and joined another line, hoping. At least they were doing something.

There were suits and ties everywhere and women who had put on dresses, clothing not usually worn from the smell of mothballs and sweat that filled the room along with their discomfort as they shifted in place, smoothing fabric always adjusting, adjusting.
"This is a joke," Dave said, "purely cosmetic. Makes it look like they're actually doing something for us. For laughs, I went to the out placement people. Did you know that you are your own CEO?"

"I did not know."

Shelley had finished up and was looking around the room. Art turned and used Dave as a screen.

"They had a lot of other useful information," Dave said.

"Reassuring."

"Oh, yeah," said Dave.

A mailroom guy came past and said he had an offer. Less money but still a job.

"I glad this is working out for someone," Art said.

Episode 201

2008-09-25T09:31:00.001-07:00

There were representatives from all the major studios, the flier had not lied. They were young women from Human Resource departments who listened to pitches and took résumés. They handed back their business cards. They waited for next person in line. None of them was higher than a manager level. These were not decision makers. They weren't even at the rank of someone who said, "You should see this person." They were drones who'd been told to sit at a table. Most were probably getting overtime.

Still Art tried. He talked to a few. He was there. He'd paid for a new suit. Why not try?

"What do you do?" they said.

He was patient. He tried to explain. He tracked their eyes looking past him or away.

"And I'm in music," Shelley chimed in, crowding up right behind him, as if this was a joint interview.

"Oh, music." They understood music but they weren't even sure their studios had a job like Art's.

He would have sighed but it was bad form. Or gotten angry. He would have started drinking heavily if there were something stronger than Sprite -- and if he hadn't have given up drinking for just this kind of reason.

With Shelley engaged in a passionate conversation about some band he'd never heard of, Art managed to retreat across the room to stand with Dave.

"Good times," Dave said.

Episode 200

2008-09-24T14:20:00.000-07:00

They left work at 6 and drove over, Shelley following. She was a nervous driver, letting cars get between them, missing lights. Art had to pull over twice so she could catch up.

Finally they made it to the site, a ballroom in a Beverly Hills hotel. They were late but people were streaming in. Art had been to parties in this hotel but always in the grand ballroom, a space that could hold several thousand. In Hollywood, so much was appearance. The job fair had been relegated to a smaller space.

Recruiters were sitting at cocktail tables that had been set up for them and lines formed. Long lines. The event was an odd mix of business and the social as waiters circulated in the crowd taking soft drink orders. It was a cash bar though non-alcoholic. Water was three dollars.

The refreshment table was some cut-up vegetables and dip, the greens already wilting. As a metaphor for what might follow Art knew immediately this did not look good.

Episode 199

2008-09-23T09:30:00.000-07:00

"Will you go to the job fair with me?" Shelley asked, as if it were the prom. Did he already have a date? Did he want to go stag?

"We'll need to take two cars," Art said. He wasn't going to get trapped with her up and back, stuck having to stay the whole time if things were going well for her but not him or the reverse.

"Two?"

"We live in opposite directions. We'll caravan up and go in together."

"I don't know how to get there."

What exactly had he ever seen in her? She took that moment to turn and stretch. Right, there it was.

Art told her she'd follow him and it would be fine.

"Now get out of here and let me get back to work," Art said, standing and opening his door. There was no one in the cubicles outside, his part of the floor was deserted. It was the first he noticed.

"You're still busy?" Shelley said.

"Always," said Art, "I'm always busy."

Episode 198

2008-09-22T07:53:00.000-07:00

The company scheduled a job fair announcing the event with colorful fliers printed and delivered to everyone still working. Art heard later that the fliers had been mailed to the group of 200 just departed.

The flier promised that recruiters from "top companies" in the industry would be present to discuss possible employment opportunities. There would refreshments and a prize drawing: an entire year of free outsource job placement (or until the winner hired on somewhere, the fine print read).

Art looked over the ties in his closet. He pulled out his suits. They were many seasons old, many years. There was no reason to wear them out here. If you wore one to work people always assumed you were interviewing somewhere.

He went to the men's discount suit store and bought a suit, a tie, a new dress shirt. The old suits he gave away. They really didn't fit anymore.

Trying on the suit and tie, that made the upcoming layoff very real.

Episode 197

2008-09-21T09:52:00.000-07:00

The first separation date approached and about two hundred people were scheduled to go. The process was orderly even humane. Everyone had known for months. It was not like you got called in a Friday after lunch and told to be out of the building in an hour, two burly security men accompanying you.

The had been memos, explanatory paperwork, placement sessions with employment professionals -- all of that promised to everyone leaving.

Art started working on the book cover. He had plenty of examples from books at home. He did research online to see about design trends. He bought a couple of books about graphic design and book design and read them through. He took one day weekend courses in the design software. He was no expert but he had a grasp of what to do.

Two hundred people was ten percent of the company. Immediately the elevators seemed more empty, the garage easier to park.

Episode 196

2008-09-20T07:52:00.000-07:00

On one of those afternoons leaving the movies, Art ran into someone who'd been in one of his writing classes. His writing friend said he was publishing a small volume of poetry.

"A chapbook?" Art said.

"Yes. But I hate the cover. I just don't like what they've come up with."

They were standing in front of a line a shops. Behind them, a street performer was juggling. This was an area for the tourists and street acts abounded.

"Always a scene down here," Art said. He asked what was the subject and the theme of the book.

"Funny but it's about life right where we're standing. What it's like to be a performer down here."

The friend had never been a performer himself but had spent hours watching.

"Maybe I could come up with something for you," Art said, "if you send the specifications."

He had all this design software on his computer which he used on occasion to manipulate a logo that went into his reports.

"I'd like to try," Art said.

Episode 195

2008-09-19T07:51:00.000-07:00

Art came in a little later and left a little earlier and no one said anything at all. The computer people were not as busy outside his door and there seemed to be fewer of them.

Art tried to get up to his old floor at least once a week, if only to be seen. He stopped in to visit with Dave and the other attorneys whom he had known for so many years.

Everyone was upbeat, assuring him that he'd be snapped up by someone just as soon as he was available. Some of them talked about taking long delayed trips, others wanted time with their kids, still others just wanted time.

Art wanted a job. He wasn't a good saver and needed to keep working. Then he reminded himself about the severance. He should try to take it easier on himself.

He went to some movies in the afternoon and didn't even come back to the office. He thought himself a little brazen but in some ways deserving. After all, the job had often taken over his vacations.

No one noticed.

Episode 194

2008-09-18T07:50:00.000-07:00

Art sat and listened to the building. With his door closed and the clamor of the computer people blocked, it was all quite still. The ventilation system blew and there was comfort in the white noise.

Art sat and breathed. He found himself focused on his breath, an inadvertent meditation.

The phone didn't ring. Not once. All morning.

A small disturbance from outside. Probably the mail cart and its delivery.

He'd been brought up to believe you had to do something. Even his parents' death was attributable to that motto. The old furnace was functional. Barely. Expensive to run and in need of parts that weren't made anymore. But its replacement could have waited till the spring. You had to do something, his father always said. The furnace was removed. The weather changed. Father gone. Something.

What if you did nothing? For awhile. The closing on the sale was months away.

Could he do nothing all that long?a

Episode 193

2008-09-17T07:50:00.000-07:00

Nothing. Everything had been filed and sent to storage. The last film finished. The company wasn't starting any more.

Confidential mail arrived. At last something. The package had the details of the severance terms. As generous as Dave said. Art signed the documents, kept his copy and returned the rest. With one signature, he had committed himself to stay. It was comforting that the uncertainty, at least for awhile, was gone.

That took an hour. He had read slowly, working out the legal language for himself.

All he had to do was hang on through the sale, accept his separation from the company, and go home with nearly two years salary banked.

But to not have anything to do bothered him. He thought he was a useful person now of no use.

He looked out his window, watching the people and the cars on the street below. A blue car circled the block six times.

Art was not the only one with nothing to do.

Episode 192

2008-09-16T09:49:00.001-07:00

They got something from the chairman though vague about the details of the sale. The chair said things were being worked out to insure a smooth transition and the continued ability of the company to function in the forefront of the industry.

It was good PR-speak. Didn't make any of them feel better and with staff already departing, people were being asked to add more job responsibilities. For no more money. Of course.

"We have to pull together right now and get the job done," that was the company line.

Yet Art had less and less to do, and no one came round asking to do anything else. He'd learned years ago never to ask for work. It never produced a promotion or a raise. He did what he needed to do when it needed to get done. Sometimes it meant working late or weekends. It always meant working on a portion of his vacation no matter where he was.

Then he came in one morning and had nothing to do. No filing. No calls. Nothing.

Episode 191

2008-09-15T08:36:00.000-07:00

"You'll get something," Dave said, "somebody will snatch you right up. They'd be crazy not to."

Art wasn't so sure.

"You won't have a problem," Shelley said, "but me, what am I going to do? Who will take care of me? Jadert likes you. What will happen to me?"

If she had beat her breast with a closed fist it could have been a scene from a silent movie: the heroine in distress.

Once Art might have fallen for this. Not this time. He wasn't any smarter only more aware of her moves.

"You'll be all right. You have external factors going for you even if you weren't good at what you do."

Art had no idea if she was good at her job. Sometimes the way she raced about -- the heroine in distress, sky falling -- Art had doubts.

Emails began from people who hadn't been there that long and for whom a new job was more important than the rumored severance.

The farewell message always asked to keep on touch. No one ever did.

Episode 190

2008-09-14T09:35:00.000-07:00

Art didn't much care who got screwed as long as his screwing was minimized. How to keep the job? That was the question.

"The separation date for most of us is April," Jadert told Art in a private meeting. Jadert was meeting with all his group, one by one. The same meetings were going on in other departments throughout the company.

The screwing commenced.

"It's possible some will be asked to stay on longer for the transition. There will be bonuses for them. We're hearing the severance is going to be six months plus a month for every year of service up to a cap of twenty-four months."

That would cushion things. Somewhat.

"You can start looking for a new job but if you leave early no severance."

Jadert looked directly at Art. "I hope you'll stay with the team as long as I can keep everyone together. I don't get to say this enough but Art, I appreciate what you do. You're one of the few I can count on."

They shook hands. A real grip.

Jadert had no need to worry. Art wasn't going anywhere even though he had real doubts about finding another job when the end, inevitably, came.

At first it kept him awake at night or woke him up and he couldn't fall back asleep. He tried meditation, reading, masturbation -- anything to calm himself down.

Episode 189

2008-09-13T09:35:00.000-07:00

Then one morning the Trade papers announced the sale had happened. Art's venerable old studio which had been around since the 1920s, which had survived the consent decrees and the sale of all its valuable back lot property and finally the sale of the lot itself, which had been sold and resold and resold again, handed off and downsized and resized and still it had made movies -- admittedly not many of them very good, not many with vision, but still movies -- the studio was sold again, this time to a consortium of venture capitalists who hoped to exploit the massive 5000 title with as little overhead as possible.

"It's a horrible deal," Dave said, "except for senior management and the principal stockholder. Everyone else gets screwed. They'll find it out in time."

"I'm sure they will, we all will," Art said.

Episode 188

2008-09-12T09:34:00.000-07:00

There was a knock of the door and Art was confronted by one of the moving men. He was holding a box.

"You shouldn't accuse people of stealing," the man said. "We don't like that."

They looked at each other for a moment, Art facing a heavily tattooed Hispanic man. The rumor was the company always hired a moving company that used ex-cons as its employees, a way of giving back to society and helping these former criminals reintegrate. The mover looked angry or at least hostile.

"I said it was missing. That was all."

The mover thrust the box at Art.

"Well here it is. Everything there. Got mixed up in another load. Sorry for any trouble."

During the move Art had thought he'd established some good will with the mover. He'd been polite. Respectful. Appreciative. What was he thinking?

Everything was there and everything was all right except for a small jade dragon whose head had broken off.

Episode 187

2008-09-10T13:35:00.001-07:00

Art, however, was enjoying his promotion. He had survived other sales, lay-offs when his name was on a list and he'd been rescued in the middle of his termination meeting. Literally, the phone had rung as his name was being checked off a list, and instructions had come down to keep him on.

Enjoying his promotion. The guaranteed parking space, the big, uncluttered office, his temporary couch. The designer had called to say everything was approved and the new furniture should arrive in about 6 weeks. He wouldn't hear from her again unless there was a problem. The sofa would just be delivered as soon as it was ready.

Every afternoon he spent some time on the couch. He felt a little tired. He found himself not going to the gym as much. Maybe it was the season or the uncertainty of the sale.

Kind of nice to be able to stretch out in the afternoon and relax.

Episode 186

2008-09-09T14:00:00.000-07:00

Of course it was impossible to get much done. Every day the Trade papers were reporting new developments but the Company itself wasn't saying anything. At least not to its employees.

The speculation game went on about who the purchaser might be.

Art was on an elevator with some of the younger creative executives. As if he were not there or did not matter or perhaps they trusted him to commiserate, they complained that the good projects had dried up. No one wanted to bring anything to them if the place was being sold.

"Except for crapola that we'd never make in a million years."

"If we couldn't get anything else."

"It's embarrassing."

Art supposed it was. Did senior management think that you put the place in play and nothing changed? It was amazing how easily they messed with the lives of 2000 people and thought nothing of it.

Episode 185

2008-09-08T08:45:00.000-07:00

It was the same oilman who had bought the place three times before and was going for a fourth.

It was Rupert Murdoch.

It was CHAOS.

It was Smersch.

It was SPECTRE.

Those didn't exist, Art said, except in the mind of their creators.

"Well it could be," Shelley said.

"Something like it," said Dave.

"You guys for sale or something?" said LennyB when Art ran into him on the parking garage.

"Are you all right?" said Lynn in an unexpected call.

Art thanked her for her concern.

His brother wanted to know what was happening. Like he really cared.

"I care," he said.

The whole world suddenly cared, though no one enough to offer him a job.

"Are you still in business?" the person from Fox said.

"Still here. Still working. We never close," said Art.

At least not this week.

Episode 184

2008-09-07T08:44:00.000-07:00

The possibility of a sale was weighing on everyone, infecting their attitudes and conversation. Possibility was shifting into something more definite. No buyers had been announced but the Trade Papers assumed the several usuals were contending.

If it was another studio then they'd be gone.

This Dave in a crowded elevator. Art pressed to the side and twisted his mouth he wanted interpreted as I don't really know this person but here we're always polite.

"Maybe it's Indian money," Shelley said on one of her visits.

"Isn't it usually German?" Art said.

"They changed the tax code. Indian computer billionaires have all the money now."

"It's definitely another studio."

"It's a group of venture capitalists," one of the mail guys said.

It was a reclusive billionaire who wanted to meet actresses.

It was a terrorist front hoping to influence the West.

It was The Church.

It was an employee buyout.

It was the hand of God.

It was not Art.

Episode 183

2008-09-06T08:44:00.000-07:00

When he woke up it was 5:30. That had never happened before. The sun was low in the sky out the window to the left. The color churn was starting. Great drama.

He had messages to return. Emails. No indication that anyone had come down here looking for him. He was like an island outpost. A distant station.

The more real possibility of the company being sold weighed on him. Art had watched an ongoing downsizing at other places. The number of companies shrunk sending everyone scurrying for work. Even at his level he got calls from people asking if he knew of anything. Soon he might be one of those people. He didn't want to be one of those people.

A few returned calls. A few emails. A few answers. Order was restored. Someone in marketing said, "Art, you're the greatest. I can always get a straight answer from you."

After that, Art went home.

Episode 182

2008-09-05T08:43:00.000-07:00

He could sit and do nothing for awhile. It was the nature of his job to work in short bursts. Sometimes he pulled out a file and another question came in on something else and something else until he had an archaeology of paper on his desk. Eventually he worked his way down the strata to his original project.

He might do nothing for awhile. Enjoy the office. Lay back on the couch and enjoy the scenery. Or get Shelley back down.

How stray thoughts crept in. The mind was like a moth fluttering to different light sources. The simile always ended in the disaster of heat.

He closed his eyes and breathed deeply.

Episode 181

2008-09-04T08:42:00.000-07:00

It was nothing. A simple question easily answered. But it got Shelley out of his office without having to respond. For awhile.

Art sat on the temporary sofa with his back to the city.

This was what he wanted: promotion and all its flame. Yet it seemed empty. Just things. Didn't change the job or his life. A little more comfort.

He had once envisioned for himself a kind of success. Writing and making movies. But the writers he'd met through his work were most often anxious about their next job, and carried a visible fury always simmering below their surface.

They were angry that the studio messed with their words. They were angry that producers forced free drafts out of them and their guild proved powerless to stop it. They were angry that the directors got the credit for the film's creation. No one ever said, Go see this new one written by so and so.

Their only reward was money, never enough.

Episode 180

2008-09-03T08:42:00.001-07:00

Later in the morning Shelley was down.

"Did you hear?" she said.

"Apparently it's all over the building," said Art.

The new rumor didn't bother the computer people. They were as lively, as noisy as ever.

"F2, F2," someone called. "Now hit enter."

Sale or no sale, someone always needed them.

Art was a little surprised to see her. He let her in and she sat on the temporary couch.

"You've settled in," she said.

"Mostly. It's all unpacked. Getting rid of those file cabinets freed up a lot of space."

She was as far away on the temporary sofa as she could be, almost leaning.

"About that--"

Art waved to try stop her. "You don't need to."

"I'm so embarrassed," she said. "First I was mad at you but you were right the doctor said."

"Well it happens," said Art. "You get it taken care of. You go on."

"I want us to go on."

Art's phone rang. He could see from the display. "Jadert," Art said.

Episode 179

2008-09-02T08:54:00.000-07:00

He knew enough to know the universe resists stasis. Nearly four weeks had passed since his promotion. His contact with Shelley was a few emails about work. Cordial. Professional. Informational.

There was a knock on the door. It was Dave.

"You keep it locked?" he said.

Art held the door open for a minute.

"What?" Dave said.

"Do you hear?"

They stood in front of the open door listening to the Help Desk attempting to solve some unfortunate's computer disaster.

"Wow. It is loud. Close that."

They settled inside. Dave sat on the temp couch.

"So you heard?'

"Down here?" Art said, "I don't hear much of anything down here."

"I have it from another better source that we're definitely going to be sold. No question."

"Rumor from the mailroom again?"

Dave shook his head.

"Jadert," he said.

Episode 178

2008-09-01T08:54:00.000-07:00

A week after the move, Art became aware that some of his personal things were missing. Trinkets really, nothing of great importance, a few pictures, stuffed animals that had been the star of one of the films, a magnifying glass, a cat calendar a girlfriend had once given him.

He reported this to someone in office services and also to the security department.

"I just noticed it," Art said. "I don't even remember unpacking the stuff after the move."

They told him the company was not responsible for person items.

"Thank you," Art said, "but I thought you might like to know."

Episode 177

2008-08-31T08:53:00.000-07:00

He hoped she'd stay gone. Her little rope thrill had worn off. His knees recovered and the burn marks faded. He ran out his prescription and the bathroom was no longer a feared part of the universe. He resumed being and all its boredom.

It helped that he was on a different floor though the noise from the technicians was unabated. He spent most of time with door closed. The size of his office was substantial, his own private universe.

He to work. He worked. He went home. At home he tried a little writing. It didn't amount to much.

He went to the gym with Yayo on Saturdays. At night, he stayed home.

It was a life. Not that different from the people in the apartments around him, their living rooms lit up by the blue glow of televisions.

He read more, stretched out on his sofa. He invested in good light.

As he expected, he used the memories of Shelley to help him before bed.

Episode 176

2008-08-30T08:52:00.000-07:00

There wasn't any real to cushion it and why should he? And he'd end things finally, establish a new boundary.

"What?" she said, "what?"

"After," Art said, "after we were together. I had to go to the doctor."

Now she was sitting up very straight.

"What are you saying?"

"I haven't been with anyone for eight months," Art said.

Outside it was cloudless, the sun beat down.

"You're saying--"

"You should probably get it checked."

Because of her dark skin she didn't turn red but there was a change in pallor. Her shoulders stiffened. She looked like she was going to cry.

"It's no big deal," Art said. "I thought you'd want to know."

She nodded and stood up and went to the door. When she opened the noise came in again. Almost shocking how loud. How did they get any work done.

Then she was gone.

Episode 175

2008-08-29T08:52:00.000-07:00

Art sat in his office chair and looked at her. He hadn't unpacked much yet that had been his plan before Shelley got there.

Shelley stopped bouncing and swung her legs up to lie down at her full length. She stretched her arms over her head and made a kind of combination groan and sigh.

"This is nice," she said.

Art folded his arms and leaned back in his chair. The top banged the wall.

"Very nice," she said. "You know what would be even better?"

"Don't get too comfortable," Art said, "I need to get unpacked."

"Is the door locked?" Shelley said.

"And get going."

"Why don't you come over here."

"Shelley, I have to tell you something."

Something in his tone made her sit up.

"What? What do you have to tell me?"

Oh this was not going to be easy.

Episode 174

2008-08-28T08:51:00.000-07:00

Almost immediately the door opened. It was Shelley. She prowled around the room looking in his boxes, tapping on the one set of file drawers by the wall, bending over and looking out window at the ground below.

The she turned and sat on the temporary couch, bouncing several times.

"Nice couch," she said.

Episode 173

2008-08-27T08:50:00.000-07:00

Voices and shouting and laughter. Outside the door was the bullpen for the IT Department. The help desk was down here, and a group of rowdy technicians.

"Now hit enter," Art heard someone say. "Thank you, I will take control of your desktop."

Concentration was difficult. What if he shut the door? The message of various actions had to be considered.

Once he had worn a suit and tie for a week running to try to dress more like the attorneys. Every assistant and finally Jadert had asked him where he was interviewing.

A closed door meant something important might be going on or something secret. Or it might be seen as a sign of unsociability.

The noise rose and fell, rose and fell and rose.

They weren't his people: Art closed the door.

Episode 172

2008-08-26T08:49:00.000-07:00

It didn't take long to get his things moved in. The Company was at its most efficient moving people around the building. The computer people came and set him right up. The phone guy was next to check the line. A decorator came by with a "temporary" couch, a deep shade of brown.

Art said that it would do fine.

"Oh, no," said the decorator, "we need to get a new one made for you."

She showed him design samples and remarked favorably on his selection. She had fabric swaths with her, too. Art tended toward a conservative, simple look with a single-colored fabric.

The temp couch was along a wide wall of three windows. He had one file cabinet on the far right. His desk faced the windows which looked out over the mountains still green in the season.

His computers were in front and beside him for easy access.

He was set.

He sat back and luxuriated. Only then did he become aware of the noise in the hall.

Episode 171

2008-08-25T08:19:00.000-07:00

Then it was moving day and a group of heavily tattooed Hispanic men arrived at 9:30 with carts and dollies. They wore the green work shirts of their company and were very polite.

Without saying much, they began carrying boxes and his computer equipment out. Occasionally a few words of Spanish.

"Just the two file cabinets I marked," Art said.

"We can do that," the head mover said, "but you know how it goes around here, it's much harder to get something back instead of keeping it."

Art looked at him for a second. Sometimes the perfect metaphor showed up in the strangest places. He could been speaking of so many things.

"I hear you," Art said, "but I want an office this time not a file room with a desk in it."

"Whatever you want," the head mover said.

Art took his messenger bag and put it over his shoulder. He grabbed a box that had his most personal effects.

"See you down there," Art said.

Episode 170

2008-08-24T09:16:00.000-07:00

It took him more than a week to get the file cabinets emptied. He had files going back to his first weeks with the company. He had always prided himself on being able to get quick answers. Because all the files were in cabinets around him.

"Isn't that a little crazy?" Shelley said.

Was she right? Some of the files had not been looked at for years. It was the 1% solution taking up 99% of the space.

"You're right," Art said.

Off to off-site storage for everything but the files of the films in production and release. Once the film was out of the theatres the files were out of his office. That was his new policy. If someone needed an answer they'd have to wait for retrieval.

Stop the clutter. That was his new motto. He might also have said get rid of the old and keep only the new, but where would that have left Shelley in his new chain of being?

Episode 169

2008-08-23T09:16:00.000-07:00

The infection was gone and trips to the bathroom were no longer a source of dread. No follow-up needed with the doctor either who only said, "Watch out where you put that thing."

Art hadn't said anything about it to Shelley, and wasn't going to. For her part, she seemed to have accepted that they were back to colleagues -- and nothing more. She came from next door while he was packing. She didn't help but she sat in his guest chair keeping him company, back straight, knees together, business skirt keep her covered.

Art had accumulated a lot of stuff in the many years he'd been with the company. He had personal things like his bank files because he paid bills sometimes during lunch. His writing files were here, his small attempts at poetry. Also things he'd collected: stuffed animals, gewgaws the company had handed out to improve moral, picture calendars he'd made, framed prints he'd bought to decorate.

He was surrounded by file cabinets, too, and he vowed to clear as much out as possible before making the move.

Episode 168

2008-08-22T09:15:00.000-07:00

It was going to take a couple of weeks to move him. A shuffle of offices was required.

Jadert said, "You're definitely going to a different floor. We don't have an office for your level of employee here. But I put a couple of the newer attorneys down on 6 and you can go there with them. We'll get you back up here as soon as we can. When something opens up."

Nothing wrong in that. Art had never been closely supervised and it all worked fine. He didn't take it as a move away from the important bright light. Right now he was working in a hallway, a move into a windowed office -- no matter where it was -- was welcomed.

Boxes arrived and Art started packing.

Episode 167

2008-08-21T09:14:00.000-07:00

Art called Yayo who congratulated him.

After that, well no one to really celebrate with.

Good news on the health front: the infection was nearly gone. He kept taking his pills. Art did enough internet research to understand it wasn't exactly something Shelley had given to him. All that activity at one time. Still it made him wary.

Dave, the attorney, stopped by to wish Art well. They had to have lunch to celebrate, he said.

Shelley knocked on his door.

"So you're leaving me," she said.

"Breaking up the partnership. Moving my act to a new floor. Well, maybe. Taking in a change of scenery. I guess I am."

"It's not fair. What did I ever do to you except good things?"

How was this promotion about her?

"Shelley, it's a promotion. For me. At long last. Don't you think it's way overdue? Don't you think this should have happen years ago?"

She sniffled.

"I'll take that as a yes."

"Jadert said I'm in trouble."

When she left a little later, Art was relieved.

Episode 166

2008-08-20T09:20:00.000-07:00

After 15 years of trying, after seeing attorneys make the same advance with barely 3 months tenure, after asking 3 different bosses, after waiting and waiting and giving up hope and waiting some more, he was promoted. Vice-President.

It meant a new office, a bigger office, a pick of better furniture, a parking space closer to the elevators. No increase in salary. Yet. That was a little odd.

But it did not mean, the person from HR told him, a car allowance or a bigger expense budget or first-class travel or even invitations to the premier, except maybe for the films that no one wanted to go to. All of those perks were long gone.

If only he'd gotten the promotion 10 years ago, the HR person said, it would have meant much more. Those things would have come to him.

Now she let slip that the company was vice-president heavy. Every company was. It was a way for companies to act like they were giving people something when the real benefit was very small.

"Great," said Art

The HR person only told him this because they had known each other for years. They started at almost the same time and she had a kind of sisterly liking toward Art.

"But you didn't hear any of this from me," she said.

"When do I move?"

Episode 165

2008-08-19T08:12:00.000-07:00

"Where were we?" Jadert said, as if almost the entire week hadn't gone by.

"You were telling me how you always try to take care of your people and I was thanking you for that."

Jadert nodded. "Right."

He was again shoeless, his socks had a running purple line mixed in with the black.

"I'm happy to tell you that--"

The intercom chimed and Jadert looked over. He rolled his eyes in frustration. He stood up and extended his hand to Art.

"I have to take this, again. I hoped we were going to get a few minutes to celebrate. You'll be moving offices. Something that befits the new status. Congratulations. You deserve it."

Jadert picked up the phone before Art had even the chance to say his thanks.

"I think I was just promoted," Art said to the assistant.

"That's nice," the assistant said, and went back to typing.

Episode 164

2008-08-18T08:11:00.000-07:00

Or the next day.

Or the next.

Art came to work on time and left on time. His boss didn't call.

Shelley waved when she walked by. Her cry of, "How are you, Art?" died off quickly in the heavily carpeted hall.

She seemed, now, to be always rushing somewhere, busy, doing something.

Finally, four days later, Jadert called. Or more accurately, his assistant called and said come on down.

When Art got there, Jadert's door was closed.

"Just a minute," the assistant said.

Art took up his position by the half-height partition.

Five minutes went by and then the door opened. Shelley came out. She was crying.

"You can go in," the assistant said.

Episode 163

2008-08-17T08:10:00.000-07:00

Had Jadert forgotten he was still outside? It was possible. They'd had conversations interrupted in the past that never resumed.

The commotion around the office increased. Jadert now had three other attorneys in with him. Though muffled, there were raised voices.

You could do this to someone who wasn't important. Keep them standing outside a door. It may not have been deliberate but it reinforced the hierarchy.

Art fulfilled an administrative function. But he was only a higher level drone. If he ever failed to do his job, one or more of the movies would be messed up. But he never failed to do his job. For reasons he didn't understand, doing his job well mattered. But Art decided nothing about the company or its direction. He wasn't important in that sense, and a senior executive could always make him wait, could always make most of them wait.

Jadert's assistant seemed unconcerned about all the activity. The phone rang often. He answered. He intercommed and then took messages.

Forty-five minutes.

"Tell him I've got to do something on the two pickups coming out next month."

"He said--"

Art tapped his watch.

"Just doing my job," the assistant said.

"Something that everyone here appreciates, and no one less than I."

The assistant looked at him directly, measuring no doubt, for any degree of insincerity.

"I'm off to do mine," Art said.

Whatever was going on must have been serious: Art heard nothing more from his boss that day.

Episode 162

2008-08-16T08:10:00.000-07:00

His intercom chimed and Jadert swung to his left to look at it. They were on the 15th floor and the full-height windows gave a panoramic view of this part of the city.

"Hell," said Jadert. "I have to take this. Alone."

Art went outside and waited by Jadert's assistant.

The secretaries sat in an open area, their cubicles divided by only waist-high partitions. There was no formal waiting area and when the mail cart came by, Art had to squeeze against a wall.

It was uncomfortable. Exposed. Jadert's assistant was typing something. Art tried to talk to him but it was apparent he was busy.

Two of the attorneys in the group rushed up and the assistant sent them in.

Art waited.

Five minutes became ten minutes became fifteen.

"Maybe I should come back," he said to the assistant.

"I'd wait."

An attorney left the office and returned a few minutes later, carrying a stack of files.

It was now a half hour.

Art shifted from foot to foot, waiting.

Episode 161

2008-08-15T08:09:00.000-07:00

Art always brought a buck slip and a pen with him no matter what Jadert said. He might have to take a note and it was better to be prepared.

Jadert closed the door and indicated a chair in front of his desk.

It was one of those meetings.

Jadert padded back to his desk. He was not wearing shoes but thin patterned socks through which his toes were visible.

"I don't see enough of you, Art, and that's my fault. You're one of my group I can count on. You excel at what you do and you don't need my direction. I appreciate that."

"Thank you," Art said.

"You know I always try to take care of my people."

Right. 18 months before Art had tried to get a promotion to vice president. Jadert was still "working" on it. Art, after carefully bringing up the subject over a series of months stopped asking. He thought it would never happen. But, was it possible?

"I know you do," Art said.

Jadert seemed to be enjoying this. He leaned back in his chair and steepled his fingers in front of him.

"So I have news for you."

Episode 160

2008-08-14T08:08:00.000-07:00

More people jostled to get on the elevators. It seemed only one of the cars was running but people were anxious to get upstairs and back to whatever they were doing. It was not usually like this after a fire drill. People could take an hour to return to their desks. Some, if it was close enough to lunch, knocked off early and didn't get back till after two. Maybe there was some credence in Dave's latest rumor.

"It's for real," Dave said. "I'm sure."

The second cousin of the mailroom boy's dentist on his mother's side -- this was how they heard they were for sale. Or read it in the Trade papers. Often that was where they got their news from.

"I'm a believer."

"How long have you been here?" Dave said.

"Long enough," said Art.

Long enough to have survived two big lay-offs after two sales. The Studio was only starting recover.

Art crowded on to an elevator and waved at Dave.

Jadert was waiting.

Episode 159

2008-08-13T08:07:00.000-07:00

On the way in from the fire drill Jadert, Art's boss stopped him.

"As soon as everyone gets back in come over and see me," Jadert said.

"Should I be bringing anything?" Art asked.

Jadert shook his head and didn't say anything more. He excused himself and went off to mingle with a group of higher level executives.

Dave, the attorney who had been caught in flagrante caught up to Art.

"I'm hearing it might be Warners."

"This week," Art said.

"Or even an Indian group."

There were dozens waiting to get on the elevator. Shelley ducked in front of Art, kept her head down.

"How fresh is this? I mean who we're getting sold to this week is not exactly news."

"My assistant heard it from a mail guy who heard right out of the chair's office.

"If there wasn't a rumor, that would be news."

"Those guy's are keyed in."

Art was tempted to say he heard the Indians were out and it was a Russian group.

"Keep me on the list. High up."

Episode 158

2008-08-12T08:07:00.000-07:00

"Button up," Art said. "Button up and go."

He wanted the two of them on the floor. The full immersion. That was some dream he once had, a little bit of the happy happy memory. He could pull it out if he needed it.

"Button up," Art said.

Yes, pull it out when he needed it.

"And go. Okay? I think we understand each other."

Shelley started to comply, restoring the buttons.

"I don't understand," she said.

"I think you do."

He held the door open then let it close behind her.

As soon as it clicked home a fire alarm went off in the building. The siren and strobes in the corridor.

Art grabbed his keys and left.